"This is the only way to react when the other team scores an own-goal."
By the way, the picture to the right has nothing to do with this post, it's just a ridiculous photo.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
This makes so much sense!
Seriously guys, it's not like I go around saying that I'm 2 3 years old. I'm 23. Huge difference.
Here's a prime example of doing retarded things because your skills on the field are equal to that of Christopher Reeves (too soon?)
Daily Clown: Doing whatever you can to stay in the spotlight.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The Longest List
The Longest List is the Longest List of the Longest Things at the Longest Domain Name on The Internet.
Now all in one convenient place!
Kool-Aid
Everything you need to know about Kool-Aid.
Still the best afternoon snack ever.
1 dry Kool-Aid packet
1 cup Sugar
Mix, enjoy ensuing diabetic shock.
And yes, I went through a period of eating that everyday.
And yes, I went through a period of eating that everyday.
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
Yea, no joke. That's the best name they could come up with. (above is an accurate depiction of the action scenes in the movie, high quality stuff).
And you know it's incredible when it stars 80s teenie bopper Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas.
Anyways, does anyone here watch the SciFi channel for movies. They are incredible. (Incredible = incredibly shitty).
I happened to switch over to the SciFi channel one night to catch the ending of what could only be a sorry attempt to jump onto the coattails of the Anaconda and Lake Placid movies. It starred some woman who shouldn't be acting and one HUGE Alligator (maybe crocodile, Mlauw, help me on this one).
So, like I said, this was the end of the movie and the actress was stuck on a tiny raft in the middle of a swamp. To her horror, she notices that not only is this gigantic pissed off alligator is swimming her way, but the swamp is being filled up by huge barrels of gasoline. She quickly remembers that she has a zippo in her pocket and trys to start it. BUT IT WON'T LIGHT!!!!
OH
MY
GOD!
Oh, there's a dude in the raft with her, but he's injured (of course), and he's struggling to start the engine (yea, there's a small trowling motor that's there to make us believe that the small 5hp motor will help speed them away from this beast).
Blah Blah Blah, you can guess what happens next. Yep, it finally lights up. We see the beast swimming towards them, weaving in and around reeds and grass and whatnot. Right when he's about to swim into some gasoline, we here quite possibly the greatest line in cinematic history.
Sauer if you're reading this, prepare to be blown away.
She takes one look at the lighter, then to the alligator and says
"Light up my life you sonofa bitch!"
and then she tosses the lighter into the swamp, and BLOWS UP the goddamned alligator. She didn't hit any barrels or anything, just the gas on the surface of the water. Oh, and not only does she and the dude not get blown up as well, they are able to start the engine, troll safely out of the swamp into some open water and proceed to fuck each other's brains out.
Wonderful.
I happened to switch over to the SciFi channel one night to catch the ending of what could only be a sorry attempt to jump onto the coattails of the Anaconda and Lake Placid movies. It starred some woman who shouldn't be acting and one HUGE Alligator (maybe crocodile, Mlauw, help me on this one).
So, like I said, this was the end of the movie and the actress was stuck on a tiny raft in the middle of a swamp. To her horror, she notices that not only is this gigantic pissed off alligator is swimming her way, but the swamp is being filled up by huge barrels of gasoline. She quickly remembers that she has a zippo in her pocket and trys to start it. BUT IT WON'T LIGHT!!!!
OH
MY
GOD!
Oh, there's a dude in the raft with her, but he's injured (of course), and he's struggling to start the engine (yea, there's a small trowling motor that's there to make us believe that the small 5hp motor will help speed them away from this beast).
Blah Blah Blah, you can guess what happens next. Yep, it finally lights up. We see the beast swimming towards them, weaving in and around reeds and grass and whatnot. Right when he's about to swim into some gasoline, we here quite possibly the greatest line in cinematic history.
Sauer if you're reading this, prepare to be blown away.
She takes one look at the lighter, then to the alligator and says
"Light up my life you sonofa bitch!"
and then she tosses the lighter into the swamp, and BLOWS UP the goddamned alligator. She didn't hit any barrels or anything, just the gas on the surface of the water. Oh, and not only does she and the dude not get blown up as well, they are able to start the engine, troll safely out of the swamp into some open water and proceed to fuck each other's brains out.
Wonderful.
Awkward Family Photos
This webpage was sent in courtesy of longtime clown-enjoyer, and Official Friend of the site Jon Sauer (call for membership details). I'm sure we all have a few family photos that could qualify. The best news is that is passes my company's "websense" content filter - unlike 90% of what Baumer posts -so you should be able to enjoy it at home and work.
Two Snakes, One Bowl
Sweet mother of God.Now if you think that's scary ... check this out. Forget Snakes on a plain, try the toilet. No shit.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Playoffs? Playoffs?
Dennis Green is still probably my favorite. Mostly because the gave that goddamn game away to the Bears. They had that win.
Warning: These are REAL children
I've got a couple here and they're all equally ridiculous.
1. He's making fun of them and they are just eating it right up.
2. Not sure what church this is, but if I did that, I would probably have been kicked squarely in the teeth.
3. Wooo Praise the Lord!
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