Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Bathroom Behavior Part II - Hand Washing

As discussed in Bathroom Behavior Part I, using the restroom as a napping locale not only gives me the chance to catch a quick snooze at work, but also provides me access to fellow employee's indiscriminate private practices. This has afforded me the opportunity to evaluate a question many men undoubtedly have asked: Do I need to wash my hands after taking a leak?

If I'm alone, the answer is obviously "No." The answer to "do I need to wash" is always no. If my hands get so dirty touching my junk that they need to be disinfected, then I should probably be more worried about cleaning those areas. So I guess the question is - Should I wash my hands when coworkers/superiors are around? Do they care? If they wash their hands, then they probably think its wierd if I don't. But then again, maybe they're thinking the same thing as I am, and we both end up performing the obligatory hand-wash just to appease the other. And that's a goddamn travesty I will not stand for.

In napping, I've been able to witness my fellow men taking, what they thought to be, solitary tinkles. Unfortunately, even though there's no one else around (or so they think) over half wash their hands. "Well I just lightly handled my penis, so I better wash my hands so they don't get infected by the colonies of bacteria and mold being cultured on it." Idiots. If anything, there should be a little, crotch high sink for us to cleanse our weiners in after touching them with our filthy hands. At any rate, as most of the un-ashamedly flatulent clowns I work with do not share this enlightened view, I am forced me to wash my hands whenever I'm in the presence of another bathroom-goer.


kennesawmountainlandis said...

after pissing there is no need to wash. it's like i tell my cunt of a stepmother, there isn't any germs on that thing, and if there were then i don't think women would be so willing to put it in their mouth's.
when i'm at the bar and have to take a leak the only thing i touch in the bathroom is my ding-dong