Alice in Drugland

Don't watch unless it's 4am and you've been up all night watching sportscenter re-runs. This is probably the closest I've ever come to feeling the effects of acid. Headphones are essential. Just stare into as if it were a "Magic Eye."

"This is Spinal Tap, more like Spinal CRAP!"

You can't please everyone. Here's a list of critics' responses to some of your most loved things in life.

"This is more music for druggies. The Beatles should be ashamed to put out this album. I saw Paul Mcartney live last year and he was better than this album, and the other Beatles weren’t even there. But the stage show was boring, there where no pyrotecnics or girls. When I saw Motley Crew during there Dr. Feelgood tour they at least had Fireballs and dancing girls. Plus Mick Mars destroys George Harryson on guitar!"

Here's a favorite from some clown. Here two of my favorite things from this post of theirs.
A. Of all things they misspell, The Beatles is not one of them
B. The Beatles suck because they lack fireballs.

Therefore, Beatles plus picture to the right = Motley Crue quality show

By the way, This is Spinal Tap is one of the best movies of all-time (not crap).

Seth MacFarlane's 1st Cartoon

I'm starting to think that his intention was to write for "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Basically it's a less tripped out version of Family Guy, Peter is now Larry David and Brian is a brown hound looking thing.

Gratuitous Posting of Dueling Handfarts

I'm thinking about nominating this guy as clown of the year. Didn't I see that guy as the dad in American Pie and countless other shitty movies?

Watch this and remember, that some douchebag friend of this guy thought this was actually really cool and deserving of a video. On the other hand, this friend I speak of may have video taped this performance as proof to why three years later he has gone postal.

The Greatest T-Shirt The World Has Ever Known

And if you don't believe me, read the damn reviews at the bottom. And sadly, this incredible shirt to the right pales in comparison to the one I'm talking about.

Hammer vs. Capri Wearing Douche, Who Ya Got?

...because any dude that wears capri pants deserves this. Someone wipe this guy out of the gene pool.

Oh Boy...

Unreal. Simply more clowns. And boy do they love that guy.

It's a Monkey On A Minibike...

...and that's about it. Because let's face it, sometimes you just need to see a monkey riding a minibike.

Clown of the Year Nominee

They say a picture can say a 1000 words. A million couldn't sum up what I think of this clown.

Bathroom Behavior Part II - Hand Washing

As discussed in Bathroom Behavior Part I, using the restroom as a napping locale not only gives me the chance to catch a quick snooze at work, but also provides me access to fellow employee's indiscriminate private practices. This has afforded me the opportunity to evaluate a question many men undoubtedly have asked: Do I need to wash my hands after taking a leak?

If I'm alone, the answer is obviously "No." The answer to "do I need to wash" is always no. If my hands get so dirty touching my junk that they need to be disinfected, then I should probably be more worried about cleaning those areas. So I guess the question is - Should I wash my hands when coworkers/superiors are around? Do they care? If they wash their hands, then they probably think its wierd if I don't. But then again, maybe they're thinking the same thing as I am, and we both end up performing the obligatory hand-wash just to appease the other. And that's a goddamn travesty I will not stand for.

In napping, I've been able to witness my fellow men taking, what they thought to be, solitary tinkles. Unfortunately, even though there's no one else around (or so they think) over half wash their hands. "Well I just lightly handled my penis, so I better wash my hands so they don't get infected by the colonies of bacteria and mold being cultured on it." Idiots. If anything, there should be a little, crotch high sink for us to cleanse our weiners in after touching them with our filthy hands. At any rate, as most of the un-ashamedly flatulent clowns I work with do not share this enlightened view, I am forced me to wash my hands whenever I'm in the presence of another bathroom-goer.