Friday, April 24, 2009

Fantasy Baseball: Reality TV Stars

Have you often wondered what a baseball team of reality TV stars would look like? Me too.

C - Richard Hatch, Survivor
P - Clay Aiken, American Idol
  • Understandably, the Coach had a bit of difficulty with the lineup here.

1B - Warren Sapp, Dancing With the Stars
2B - Glen Foster, The Littlest Groom
SS - 50 Cent, 50 Cent: The Money The Power
3B - Helga, American Gladiators
  • Can he dance? Yeah. Can he catch? Probably. Great, Warren go to First.
  • Now I know it's a stereotype that the shortest guy on the team is always the second basemen. Would you expect a shattering of a politically correct archetype from us? You must be kidding. We chose the midget.
  • Did anyone even know 50 had a show? Me neither, but I sure as hell don't want to see him when I'm rounding second trying to leg it out for a triple.
  • You're telling me SHE'S guarding third? With a JOUST-STICK?! Fuck it, Fitty looks pretty tame right about now.

LF - Richard Rubin, Beauty & The Geek
CF - Susan Doyle, Britain's Got Talent
RF - Dinesh Patel/Rinku Singh, India's Million Dollar Arm
  • When you think of LF you think of the kid who keeps to himself, picks dandelions, and thinks girls have cooties. Not to mention eats his own boogers. Really, could you pick anyone else?
  • She has all the characteristics of a great CF: A commanding voice, the ability to rob someone else of glory, and a seemingly ubiquitous (read: annoying) knack for being everywhere at once. Oh yeah, she even has the battle wounds to prove it. That face only belongs to one who has smashed into Wrigley's brick and ivy more than once.
  • Finally, in RF the Coach had two choices. Thank God/Shiva/Brahma/Vishnu/300 million+ other deities, that he finally found some real ballplayers. These guys won an Indian reality show becoming the first from the Subcontinent to play pro ball. No shocker here, they were so good they were signed by the Pirates.